Blue's New Words

5/23/07
• Beggy Ache -- Belly Ache
• You pitty's? -- Are those your pretty's (hair things)?
• Fordy Wee-were -- 4 Wheeler
• Daddy some pot corn too? -- He was lying, saying Dad wanted some more popcorn, when really it was Blue who wanted more.
• I Muss Oooo Amma -- I miss you Amma.
• Gampa, Gupa, Papa JB, Gampa Mark -- there are all differnt people
• Me some too? -- Can I have some?
• Damn It! -- Well, what can I say, he's a quick learner! This is used in correct context of when you would actually shout it.
• Backhoe at Rogers house -- Our friend had there backhoe over at our house, and then moved it to the town of Rogers, Blue calls it Roger's house, we even stop by on the way home and see him work at "Rogers house"
• Bobtat -- bobcat, he can drive all by himself, just needs to sit on someone's lap to reach the controls.

• ****** UPDATED ******** 6/8/07
• You break you teeth daddy, You get a new one?!
• Dat's enough?
• Can't see ober der -- I can't see over there.
• I did -- Blue, you need to eat your dinner, his standard answer, "I did". Do you have stinkin pants -- "I did".

This won't last long..

Husband has been out of town the last few days, with the boys at an auction in 'Ca-go (as Blue calls it, everyone else refers to it as Chicago). The had plenty of fun, actually probably more than they should have. While he has been gone Blue has wanted to snuggle at bedtime. He goes to bed as usually with no fuss, but then wakes up a few times wanting Mama. So I go in there and pick him up. He just wants to be held for a few mintues. It's so nice to hold him and snuggle a bit. Then I sing a song and he goes back to bed. I will miss these days in the future. He is so warm and cuddly.

Last night we had our friends over for dinner. The 3 goof balls who went to 'Ca-go, Keg-gie, Nafan and Blue and I. When we were eating they were giving each other crap about the trip. Singleton was watching out the window and a girl ran by. He said he might have to take up jogging and pretended to leave the table. Husband told him to "Go get some", then Blue started in and kept saying "Go get some, Go get some, Go get some..." It's a lot funnier when a 2 year old is telling you to get some.

Blue has started talking to himself. It is so cute to watch. He thinks no one is paying attention or listening. He talks in more than one voice. He asks dad if he wants some nummies, then "dad" answers in a deeper voice, and they have a conversation while eating their nummies. I could sit and watch him talk to himself for hours. The are so precious and innocent and cute at this age. I mostly wish he would never grow up past this age. Except maybe for the potty training part.

Everything he does lately I have been trying to pay extra close attention to it. I know the days of his cuteness and baby-ness, and innocence are numbered and I will have to stretch my mind to remember them. So I have been trying to write more things down and to use the video camera more. It's a work in progress, but I am taking the steps in the right direction to preserve his youth.

Who cares about mama

The weekend was a success. We made the trip to Montana one more time to get my cousin. This will be the last road trip, for a while anyways. She is staying put in MN for now. Lots of good times were had by all. We met a new friend and she is wonderful. She was very hospitable, gracious and funny. She let us overtake her house and play with her kitty.

We got home at midnight Sunday/Monday. After sleeping for a few hours, we got up and went to get KM, he was staying with Papa. He could not have cared less that I was there to get him. It was Amma he wanted to see. Said hi to me, but then ran by to give her hugs and "I muss you's". He wanted nothing to do with me. I guess that's what I get for abandoning him for 3 days with the dreaded Papa. All they did was ride 40-wee-were, and watch baseball, and chase the birds, and go into town for treats, and every thing else Blue wanted to do. What was I thinking when I left him in such hell?!

It was nice to have a few days alone, without all the chasing and running, and keeping him off the road. But I made up for that yesterday with the graduation party we were at. Oh boy, with the running. Does he every stop, or at least slow down? I guess I'll have time to rest, when I'm dead, which might be soon, if he keeps up all this running. I am too out of shape to be a mom, at least to one as active as he is. Goodness Sakes!

Then when we got home, long after his strict bedtime, he needed to go in the tub for the third time that day (the first 2 weren't needed, but Amma thought he should have them). He had diaper rash from the weekend. Anyways, there was lots and lots of crying. Blue was tired, had been woken up from the cat nap in the truck, had an oowie butt and was in an all around funk. So we put him in the tubby, soaked his butt and put him in is favorite jammies. Then he sat and snuggled with dad on the couch. The read a book twice then off to bed. Seems like he never wants to snuggle with mama when he is tired, only daddy.

I miss the days when he was my little snuggle bunny, when we would nap together. He is a major daddy's boy. I guess that's what I get for letting him grow up. The little turkey, why can't he stay 6-12 months old for a little longer. Just a few more months, then I'll let him turn 2. Maybe the next one will listen better when I tell them they can't get any older, at least not until I am ready.

Happy Mother's Day ... To Me!

We had a great mother's day. I woke up to the KM with his nose about an inch from mine saying "Happy Mommies Day, Open peasants? (presents)". So we got up and opened peasants. They got me a really cool new oven mitt I wanted and a under cabinet mount radio/CD player. Which was also installed on Sunday -- this sort of thing never happens at our house.

The Few, The Proud, The Soldiers

There hasn't been much to say lately. Life has been boring. But coming up was always something that would change our whole family, and I know I have been avoiding thinking about it, talking about it, or even living it.

My cousin was going to be deplyed at first to Oklahoma, then to Iraq. He is in OK now, and will be back for a short bit this summer. But then he will be gone for, I'm guessing, 18 months. It's hard to watch from the outside. His fiance and 2 little girls are missing him like crazy. Not to mention the rest of the family. I can't even imagine what it would be like to miss out on that much time with my baby. Some days he drives me crazy, but I wouldn't trade that for all the tea in China.

I am hoping to do the best that I can to help out with the family. We are the ones that live the closest to them. I am going out west to bring my other cousin home (his sister). She needs to be closer to the family, and we need her to be here too.

I try not to think about it right now, he's only in training at the moment. But soon, he will be overseas, and everyday will be hard. Much harder for him than us, but hard none the less. Do you go on living life, like nothing has changed? How could you do that, knowing that it has, at least for now. How do you keep him up to date on what the kids do? How do you have a marriage from thousands of miles away? How do I write a letter, what do I say?

I worry that he won't come back and I know everyone else worries the same thing. I try not to think about it, but if it doesn't even cross my mind, would it be even tougher to deal with if I hadn't even thought about it? I like to think that sending out good karma his way will help keep him safe, but I don't want to be completely shocked either if something happened, even if he lived through the something, I think I need to be mentally prepared for almost anything. I won't be much good to others if I am mentally paralized at what has happened. Maybe it's the mom in be coming out, but I need to be useful to others in a time of need.

For now, I guess I will go on thinking that live is a bowl full of cherries, but soon, I will need to think about all the "if's".

Phone Calls and Memories

This morning I got a most unusual message on my phone, I guess not really considering the source. It was pretty much par for the course from her. It was from my friend/cousin. It was a message playing "My Town" -- Montgomery Gentry. This is one of my favorite things to send and receive. A song, between us, that is special to us, and only "us" knows why this song means anything, and every time we hear this song we think of each other. The "us" could have more than one song or only one song. But I love that no matter where we are, or what we are doing, we stop for a moment, re-connect and go back in time, to the time when that song turned from just any old song, to OUR song.

The particular song takes me back to the summer I was going to get married and my friend/cousin and I would pick up a six pack of Busch Lite and drive the hour and half from where we lived in the cities, to my home town. We would do this more than once a week and usually on a week night, where the next day we had to be back in the cities to work, at a very early hour. It makes me think of the windows down, sun shining, wind blowing, radio cranked up, stuck in traffic. And as soon as I think of how the windows were down, it reminds me of another memory, my husband who decided that our home town was "His Town", so when the song came on for him he would roll down the windows and drive around "His Town". He had to "make the rounds" as he called it, to check on "His Town". This is exactly why we would roll down the windows when ever we heard this song.

I love that forever, whenever I hear that song, I will think of here and she will think of me. I miss the days when we young, and wild and free, and usually drunk! Life was so much simpler back then (all 4 years ago). We did what ever we wanted and on weekends were usually a 6 pack in by Noon. I distinctly remember, shoes off, sun shining down on us, slight wind blowing, and we were ankle deep in the only mud puddle we could find. It couldn't have been more than 5 sq ft big. But it was enough to get our toes dirty.

Time will never be like that again, but I will always treasure the memories we made driving down the road, and it makes me look forward to the road trips of the future.

Baby not on the way...

We have trying/not trying to get pregnant for about a year. Not overly seeking, but doing nothing to prevent it either. In the last few months, I decided it's something I think I could do again. My first pregnancy was fairly uneventful, no major health problems and no major complications, but still wondered everyday why people do this more than once. I get it now. Once they are no longer babies, you begin to miss it terribly. Every day I was excited for Blue to learn something new and to hit his next milestone. I still am, but I miss him being so little. He is much easier to live with now. He can feed him self and walk. He can help get dressed and pick up the toys. He can tell you what he wants -- Milt (milk) or jooosh (juice). But he is growing up fast, and I feel like I am taking it for granted.

I was really good at keeping up with his baby book when he was smaller, now I haven't seen it in probably 3 months. I take a lot of pictures of him, but am bad a writing down the things he says. I will miss his voice and actually am already starting to miss it. He used to say Gup-pa. Now he says Gam-pa. I want him to forever refer to my dad as Gup-pa, but that was clearly short lived. He calls our friend Keg-ie. Soon, it will be her real name. I just want him to stay this age forever, or at least for a few more years, until I am done with him being 2, which I know will take much more than a year.

I decided a few weeks before his birthday that this is the year I am going to HATE the most. It seems a bit harsh but it's true. Now at his 2 year birthday, he is still part baby. But by his 3rd birthday, he will be all BOY and NO baby. He will be talking in full sentences, and asking "Why?" about everything. He will do things on his own, and go to Pre-School. He will not ask me to sing "The Big Cow" song (Mama, don't let your baby's grow up to be cowboys, Willie Nelson) any more and want to play in his room with out us. I am SO VERY NOT ready for all of this. As much as he doesn't' need me, I NEED him to need me. It makes my life make sense. And thus, ladies and gentleman, this is why people have more than one child, so they can torture themselves with these emotions and feelings year after year, as each child grows up and doesn't need them any more. This is exactly why people who swore they would never have more than one child, have more than one child.

They need to feel needed again. I need to feel needed again. I don't miss the waking up in the middle of the night, or the breast feeding (well maybe just a little), I don't miss having to make sure we had formula everywhere we went or even the price of formula, but I know it's all worth it, every stinkin' bit of it when Blue sits with me on the "cow-ch" and snuggles in, because he is trying to delay bedtime. And even though he thinks he's pretty smart, I actually tell him it's bedtime about 20 minutes before it actually is so he will snuggle with me and have me sing "The Big Cow" song.

It's all worth it when he gives big hugs and kisses at bedtime. I love him so much. And that is why we are willing to do it again, and again and again.