Broken

Lately Blue has taken to telling us that his arms and legs are broken. He won't do anything that he is told, at least not the first time he is asked.

Blue can you go and get your jammies on?

My arms and wegs are broken. (Shit eating grin, slides across face.)

Ok then, how about I set you outside in the rain and we'll see if you can get back inside.

Ok I'll go put them on.

It's his first excuse for anything and everything he doesn't want to do. He can't eat his dinner, he can't get ready for bed, he can give me a hug and a kiss.

Sunday it was frustrating me to no end (well, he was all day, not just the comments). Finally I looked at Amma and asked where does he get this stuff? Where did he learn that? She said, probably us, and the light bulb went on. WE. WE taught him that. We are the ones who ask him if his legs are broken when he doesn't do what he's told to do the second he's told to do it. We are the ones who ask if his arms are broken when he won't hug me. We are the idiots that put those ideas in his head.

It's funny to watch him too when he says it. You know he's full of bullshit. He's clearly standing there on non-broken legs, usually holding something in his non-broken arms, telling me with a shit eating grin sliding across his face, in a tone of I Really Wish I Could Help You Out But I Have To Wash My Hair. But my arms and wegs are broken. So since we are being outlandish, I try to come up with the most outlandish thing I can think of too. "Then I will ship you to the moon, and leave you there." Of course he always starts laughing, I tend to be a bit sarcastic anyways. "You're dist kidding." Yup, buddy, I'm just kidding. I will ship you to the moon and leave you there, but I'll probably come and visit. Maybe. At the very least I'll send your blankie with.