Who cares about mama

The weekend was a success. We made the trip to Montana one more time to get my cousin. This will be the last road trip, for a while anyways. She is staying put in MN for now. Lots of good times were had by all. We met a new friend and she is wonderful. She was very hospitable, gracious and funny. She let us overtake her house and play with her kitty.

We got home at midnight Sunday/Monday. After sleeping for a few hours, we got up and went to get KM, he was staying with Papa. He could not have cared less that I was there to get him. It was Amma he wanted to see. Said hi to me, but then ran by to give her hugs and "I muss you's". He wanted nothing to do with me. I guess that's what I get for abandoning him for 3 days with the dreaded Papa. All they did was ride 40-wee-were, and watch baseball, and chase the birds, and go into town for treats, and every thing else Blue wanted to do. What was I thinking when I left him in such hell?!

It was nice to have a few days alone, without all the chasing and running, and keeping him off the road. But I made up for that yesterday with the graduation party we were at. Oh boy, with the running. Does he every stop, or at least slow down? I guess I'll have time to rest, when I'm dead, which might be soon, if he keeps up all this running. I am too out of shape to be a mom, at least to one as active as he is. Goodness Sakes!

Then when we got home, long after his strict bedtime, he needed to go in the tub for the third time that day (the first 2 weren't needed, but Amma thought he should have them). He had diaper rash from the weekend. Anyways, there was lots and lots of crying. Blue was tired, had been woken up from the cat nap in the truck, had an oowie butt and was in an all around funk. So we put him in the tubby, soaked his butt and put him in is favorite jammies. Then he sat and snuggled with dad on the couch. The read a book twice then off to bed. Seems like he never wants to snuggle with mama when he is tired, only daddy.

I miss the days when he was my little snuggle bunny, when we would nap together. He is a major daddy's boy. I guess that's what I get for letting him grow up. The little turkey, why can't he stay 6-12 months old for a little longer. Just a few more months, then I'll let him turn 2. Maybe the next one will listen better when I tell them they can't get any older, at least not until I am ready.

Happy Mother's Day ... To Me!

We had a great mother's day. I woke up to the KM with his nose about an inch from mine saying "Happy Mommies Day, Open peasants? (presents)". So we got up and opened peasants. They got me a really cool new oven mitt I wanted and a under cabinet mount radio/CD player. Which was also installed on Sunday -- this sort of thing never happens at our house.

The Few, The Proud, The Soldiers

There hasn't been much to say lately. Life has been boring. But coming up was always something that would change our whole family, and I know I have been avoiding thinking about it, talking about it, or even living it.

My cousin was going to be deplyed at first to Oklahoma, then to Iraq. He is in OK now, and will be back for a short bit this summer. But then he will be gone for, I'm guessing, 18 months. It's hard to watch from the outside. His fiance and 2 little girls are missing him like crazy. Not to mention the rest of the family. I can't even imagine what it would be like to miss out on that much time with my baby. Some days he drives me crazy, but I wouldn't trade that for all the tea in China.

I am hoping to do the best that I can to help out with the family. We are the ones that live the closest to them. I am going out west to bring my other cousin home (his sister). She needs to be closer to the family, and we need her to be here too.

I try not to think about it right now, he's only in training at the moment. But soon, he will be overseas, and everyday will be hard. Much harder for him than us, but hard none the less. Do you go on living life, like nothing has changed? How could you do that, knowing that it has, at least for now. How do you keep him up to date on what the kids do? How do you have a marriage from thousands of miles away? How do I write a letter, what do I say?

I worry that he won't come back and I know everyone else worries the same thing. I try not to think about it, but if it doesn't even cross my mind, would it be even tougher to deal with if I hadn't even thought about it? I like to think that sending out good karma his way will help keep him safe, but I don't want to be completely shocked either if something happened, even if he lived through the something, I think I need to be mentally prepared for almost anything. I won't be much good to others if I am mentally paralized at what has happened. Maybe it's the mom in be coming out, but I need to be useful to others in a time of need.

For now, I guess I will go on thinking that live is a bowl full of cherries, but soon, I will need to think about all the "if's".