Happy To You!

Blue turned 2 on Friday. He is the most adorable thing EVER! On Thursday night, we were on our way home from daycare and I was singing Happy Birthday to you, to him, and he kept saying "Mo Happy To You now mommy" and by Mo he means More. So we sang it about 15 more times before we had to move on to singing "Mo Ducky Wuddle now" (Little Ducky Duddle).

Saturday we went to a bridal shower, in the crappy icy rain that was falling, but couldn't stay too long as we had to get back for naps and his own birthday party. We had a few people cancel with the foot of snow that was falling, but most everyone showed up. We even had some over night guests. 6 to be exact. Which was interesting, because we only have 1 guest room (who needs more than one in house -- I guess we do now), we have 2 couches, 2 love seats and 1 Aero bed. It was a full house. We stayed up too late, including the little ones. Blue was up until 1.45 AM! This is unheard of. He has a strict 8 pm bedtime. Then he was up again by 7.30 am Sunday morning. We made breakfast and had a good time relaxing.

Probably the biggest event of the weekend was not that he turned 2, or that my husband had to drive a 2 hour round trip to get the cake (which he fully admits was COMPLETELY worth it after tasting it), or the fact that Blue was a party animal. It was that he got his first hair cut on Sunday. One of our friends to spent the night brought her cutting stuff with for the sole purpose of giving him a hair cut. One I have been pushing off for as long as I could. He is still my little baby, he still had baby curls and a baby face and baby fine locks. But now he had short man hair and I don't like it, except that he looks really cute. But I will full on admit that I cried and I am still not ready to let go of him being a baby. My husband laughed and laughed and said that it's okay, but it's SO not okay. This to me is like going off to college and I was so not ready to let go. He looks good, but some how in the 10 minutes he sat so still and quiet and so very good, he turned in to a whole nother person. He speech seemed clearer and he seemed to walk a little taller and he seems so much older than 2 and I don't like that. Probably the highlight of the day was that he was really cuddly on the couch and this made it a little better that he is a big boy now. He still needed me to hold him and snuggle him, but it also made me sad that he was no longer the baby I would like to keep him at. Sad that he won't be doing this much longer and eventually he will even hate being seen with me. My poor husband, oh the things he will have to put up with in the future.


Blue is 2 and it seems like just yesterday he was wearing the outfit my 5 month old brother came to the party in. This also didn't help letting him be a big boy. He is talking so much and so clear lately and I know it's only going to get better, but I still think back to when he was so small. The difference a year makes. This time last year, he could say mama, dada, and puppy. Now he can say about 200 words, if not more. He walks and runs and jumps and plays hide and seek. He likes to read books and play with trains. He wants to go saaping (shopping) and go for rides. He loves it when Amma comes or Gupa, or Papa JB. He wants to see Cuncle Dake and cries when he leaves. He barely knew these people a year a go (at least he didn't know their names or even really by sight). He wants to play baaaball (baseball) and run and chase. He loves to squeal and knows he goes to Wickty's house every day.

It doesn't really make me want to have another one, as much as it makes me miss all the things I probably won't remember, which really only makes me sad. We hurried him through baby-ness and now I regret it a little. We wanted him to roll over right away, and sit up and stand and walk and talk, and now he does so many things on his own, and I feel like I missed so much of him being a baby. I didn't savor it. Why did I push him so hard to learn to sit up, what if he really didn't want to yet? What if we never have another baby, he was my only chance and I didn't take the time to lock away those memories? I don't write as many things down as I should and what if I forget everything from his childhood? What if I have NO stories to tell him when he gets older, because I was busy doing something else instead of enjoying him for being him? Maybe this is why I am not ready to have him be a big boy, because I am not done having my baby around. I guess I will just have to try harder to make sure he knows that his childhood was all that I could make it be.

One of those days...

Having one of those days, where I refuse to work. Don't feel like doing anything. Don't feel like getting anything done. I have no sense of accomplishment today, and that's okay. Miss my baby and want to be home giving him kisses and taking a nap.

New car you say --- It's yours!

Blue, I know you are only 23 months and 15 days, but if you want a new car, it's yours. Or a new toy, or a trip to Disney World, ALL YOURS. Actually anything you can think of, you can have it. After last night, I am at your service and forever will be. On the ride home last night, out of no where and with no prompting from me, you blurted out from the back seat, "I wuv you mommy." For no other apparent reason, than you actually do "Wuv Me". You also said it to daddy when we got home. But when I asked you to repeat it to daddy later on, you just kept saying that you "Wuv Mommy". Which means that, you can have anything, whatever it is that your little heart desires, it's all yours. And from what I can gather all that you want is to "Pay Choo Choo's" with me when we get home. You asked and asked on the way to daycare today. You also asked for a tubby on the way home last night. Which I think is great, because it must remind you of Amma, because every time you are with her for more than a minute, she gives you a tubby. She just love, love, LOVES the way you smell after bath time. Like a little tiny baby, even though you are now almost 2, it makes her think of 2 years ago when you were so small and so new and so very much the first grandchild. She also will forever be at your service, because when asked "Who's baby are you?" The most common reply is "Amma's Bebe". Followed quickly by a "My Bebe" because you think we are talking about your blanket. So very protective of you blanket you are. You actually hit the girls at daycare who DARE to touch your blanket. It and you have been given many time outs over it. But it's yours and you understand that. You are also starting to understand what a "Time Out" is. You are so very smart and because of that, we know you are ours.

I love you, Baby!

Love, Mommy.

I say Peeeaaasss!

Blue is very good with his manners. He will say please for everything. He know that he will get nothing with out the magic word. Other wise known as the word that follows "What do you say?" Peas! But lately, if we don't immediately jump on his request after one small "peas", he he will start rubbing his belly (My cousin taught him the sign for please by rubbing your chest -- his version is a little lower, but he gets the idea), anyways, he rubs his belly and starts yelling, "I say PEAS!". He knows what he is suppose to say in order to get what he wants, so when you don't jump, he yells. It is so very funny. He is way to smart for his own good. He'll say it again and again until you get it for him. Then he will say Thank. He is working on the You. Sometimes it's Thank, sometimes Thank You. So I have been following up with a "You're Welcome." Sunday, he was asking, so I gave him what he wanted then he said Thank You, I said You're Welcome. Thank You, You're Welcome, Thank You, You're Welcome, then finally he started saying I Welcome, I Welcome, I Welcome. Again, to smart, he figured out that he was the You're.

He'll be 2 at the end of the month, and I am dreading his birthday. I am not ready for terrible 2's. He's learning the ABC's, and counting. He can do some of these already, or at least has a pretty good start on it, but right now, he won't sing the ABC's like he used to, he wants me to sing them, always once forward and once backwards. But when he knows them himself, he won't ask me to sing them anymore and this hurts my heart. It will be one of the many things I have to let go of and I am SO not ready to start that yet. That I guess is just the job of the mom is to learn to let go and let them grow up. I just want to keep him little for as long as I can, "I say Peas!" Doesn't that count for anything....

Pool Tables and clean houses

Saturday we went looking for a pool table --but since my husband his cheap (in a good way) he couldn't make a decision and we have yet to purchase. Drove all over looking for one. Went to 5 places and put on about 300 miles doing so. But in all the shopping, I got new shoes!

Then when we got home, my mom, who had been watching Blue had cleaned up almost all of my Christmas decorations and most of the house. I'm so glad she's alive.

She is such a God-send. I can count on her for anything and everything.

Joe and not for lack of trying

Blue knows his own name but refuses to say it around us. He also knows my aunts name (she does our daycare), but refuses to say that as well. Usually she asks, "what's my name?" and he says MOM. They go back and forth. The other day he finally said it, a bunch of times so I knew it wasn't a fluke. Yesterday, she asked what her name was and he said MOM. So she said, where's Blue and he pointed to himself. She said "no, your name is Joe." For the rest of the day, he would point at himself and say "Joe". I guess that reverse psychology doesn't work on toddlers.

I just found out that one of my friends is having another baby, and is due in August. Pretty exciting. We have been trying ourselves to have another one and so far nothing. I don't get too worked up about it and for a long time, I wasn't ready to have another one. We found out I was pregnant a week before Blue's first birthday last year and I was scared to death. How will I handle 2 kids in diapers, 2 in car seats, 2 to pack up in the morning, 2 to haul in to daycare, 2 to feed, 2 to clothe, 2 to spend time with, 2 to PAY FOR? I wasn't sure I could handle it, at least when he was so small. He was still so small, he would be pushed out of the baby stage so soon. It's not fair to him -- he deserves to be a baby as long as he wants to. But then 3 weeks later on my brother's birthday, we had found out that I miscarried. No more babies to be born, at least not yet. I still am harboring RAGE towards the nurse who told me the news. She couldn't have been any more non-chalant about it. Like it was no big deal that we just lost a baby. It was like she was telling me I should get a flu shot. There was NO sympathy, no, if there's anything we can do, or any questions we can answer, no, if you want to talk. Why didn't she put my doctor on the phone? I could have handled the news better from her. There was no, what to expect in the next week and what will happen and the pain you will get -- OH THE PAIN I had. If I ever have to talk to her again, it will be too soon. I am still kicking my self for not writing a strongly worded letter to the hospital about her behavior (it would have had too many words like whore, bitch, nasty-ass cunt, I thought I shouldn't put that down on paper with my name signed at the bottom), or even talking to my doctor about it. But I just wanted to forget every mean tone in her voice and the words she chose to use -- FETAL DEMISE. She couldn't think of something better to say than that. As soon as I got off the phone, I googled the words, thinking it was something a little more technical and there was a reason associated with the term. A reason I had just lost a baby. But what it really means is miscarriage. Nothing more, nothing less.

And so, today as I am happy for my friend as they have been trying for a while and went through something similar just lately, I also am thinking about trying some more to have a baby I am sure I want now.

Happy 2007!!

Some inspiration to start off the new year! I hope everyone had a great New Years!


It Is Better To Be Alone than In the Wrong Company

Tell me who your best friends are and I will tell you who you are.

If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl.

But if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.

A mirror reflects a mans face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad.

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.

Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.

An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.

As you grow, your associates will change.

Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are.

Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl.

Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream.
Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.


Consider This:

Never receive counsel from unproductive people.

Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how.

Not everyone has a right to speak into your life.

You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.

Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere.

With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it.

Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life.

Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.

Choose to rise...

Don't settle... and go for your dreams!!!